Nutzo

I've decided working around science and medicine is both good and bad for my health.

It is amazing to me how my attitudes toward medical care as well as personal lifestyle choices have been altered during my six years in health PR. In a way, I miss my naivety ...now I worry about everything! Lead paint chipping turning to dust, triclosan and pesticides in hidden places, aneurysms, cancer, the list goes on!

That's my random thought of the day. Is it the weekend yet?

Mango Flavored Baby Kisses Are Even Sweeter

... ok, I guess Spencer isn't technically a baby any more, but he'll always be my baby. Tonight - after playing Lady and the Tramp with a spoon on mango sorbet (me with a two-sided plastic spoon between my teeth and Spencer eating off the other end), I got an impromptu, mango-slobber kiss.

Ah, these are the memories I never want to forget: Spencer, sitting on our living room smiling like he didn't have a care in the world, enjoying some a delicious Saturday night treat of mango sorbet.

It's easy to get wrapped up in all the hard stuff -- the ifs, the questions, the day-to-day obstacles, future fears. What is important is embracing the moments in front of you. I admittedly have periods of great success doing this and many other erratic periods of epic failure on this front. It's a flaw, I'm working on it.

After a meltdown on Friday (my most common meltdown day) during Spencer's dinner, the day after his second esophagus dilatation, we ended up having impromptu playtime in the backyard sprinkler while Brandon was watering the grass. It was so fun watching Spencer explore the sprinkler. I found myself startled by my own genuine laughter and smiles. It feels good to smile, to laugh, to truly be enjoying the moment without effort. If could bottle that feeling, I'd become a millionaire selling it.

Chatty, Dancing Man

Spencer is turning into quite the dancer ... not only does he do his patented fast riverdance/maniac run, he now has added a spin move. Spinning is very funny for everyone involved, including Spencer!

Spencer has also really begun to chatter with intention - the words aren't perfect, but he says mom, dad, this, dog, cat, out, drawer, bottle, treat, bird and some other things that we sometimes recognize. He is also a super helper. He helps us load the dishwasher, put clothes away and put things in the trash. What a superstar!

This weekend Spencer and I enjoyed our first play date with Hazel, Paula, Brayden and Sara. The little babies were absolutely fascinated with each other. Spencer was like " hmmm" boring, but enjoyed trying to touch them. He also gave Hazel a hug and a kiss the night before when we babysat her and rocked Brayden in his car seat. My big boy! Wasn't he just that small?

Laughter is the best medicine

Yesterday was a hard day, in a week of hard days and sudden changes.

I was feeling anxious, angry, stressed and short tempered on yet another trip to Children's to see yet another specialist.

Then, our super-energetic son, gave me this beaming smile, leaned back to look at me and decided to try and blow a zerbert (wet, sloppy kiss) on my belly - even though he was in my arms. Brandon and I exploded with laughter. The real kicker was when he tried to do the same to his own belly. So funny, that little man of ours.

Cast Be Gone!

Today we got the cast off - whoo hoo! Now Spencer is in a splint full time for two weeks, then back to night splinting only. He really didn't let it slow him down at all - he learned to climb up the stairs with the cast on. Imagine what he'll do once the splint is gone, too. Here comes trouble!

The Irresistible Question

It is the question that is inevitably is asked of us, particularly me - more and more often.

"Are you ready for another one?"

"Thinking about another one yet?"

There are many variations. My reaction has changed from one of sheer exasperation to a somewhat patient sigh (depending on who asks it.) What most people don't realize is that is such a loaded question.

Spencer's medical needs will be a life long presence, more intense in these early years - but always there. It's easy to think about him having a brother or sister (remember my lingering picket fence movie fantasy), but reality is a much bigger question.

So, who knows. Ask me again in two years.

A Bump in the Road

Today was a big day at the Harper house. The administrators at Spencer's day care decided that they weren't comfortable caring for him any longer.

We're disappointed, a little angry and a little anxious. The frustrating part is that they just aren't willing to be part of our team during the recent short term setbacks we've been experiencing. Namely, challenges with table food due to a narrowing of his esophagus at the original surgical site. It's been two weeks. 10 day care days. Evidently it spooked them enough to turn their backs on us, most likely because his morning caregiver escalating the situation.

But it's done. And hopefully there is a silver lining to the situation, one that results in an even better situation for our sweet, happy and thriving little man.

This was the first time we've had to truly defend Spencer -- justifiably so -- when someone else was trying to single him out and not include him. It won't be the last time, for sure, but it was a big step.

So, a message to anyone who tries to unjustifiably make our son feel "different" in the future. Go ahead- I dare you. But you answering to not only emotional, protective Mama but also logical, fiercely dedicated Dada.

Oh yea, beware. These Harpers are tough as nails.