A friend said something to me last night that took me back a little. He told me that Brandon and I were inspirational. As our friend said this to me, I was looking down at my son – hugging my legs, laughing and giving me a big toothy smile and I thought: Spencer makes this a lot easier to deal with because he is such a beacon of light and good in our lives.
I’ve always wondered if our friends thought we were a little crazy (because we can be) or neurotic (that’s a given) but I’ve never thought of us as inspirational. To me, it’s our son that is the superstar … how many of us could be as resilient as he in the face of so many challenges … again and again? We are the parents just doing what has to be done - making the hard decisions, worrying and fretting, tricking our son into eating, crossing our medical Ts and Is.
“Parenthood” has definitely been an unexpected journey. One thing has become clear to me: Nothing is guaranteed. Life is unpredictable in both a painful and beautiful way. I’m learning to embrace this, despite my “good/bad, fair/unfair” way of thinking. It is a very, very hard thing to come to terms with.
I read an essay in the New York Times today that really resounded with me. Clearly, this family is facing something very different than Brandon and me. But the idea of a dragon parent makes so much sense to me – fierce, loyal, ready to jump at any minute to protect, love and comfort our“young.”
Read the article, but only if you want to cry and re-evaluate your own perspective on life. Either way, I expect everyone to begin to referring to me as dragon mama from now on; B would prefer dragon dad.
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